I will just start off by
saying that this is not my usual post. Yes I am a teacher and my intention of
this blog is geared towards education but hey... I have other titles as well
right?
As many of you know,
dating STINKS! All I ever hear people talk about (people who
are older and wiser than me of course) is how "Dating these days is not
how it used to be"! The common conversation goes a little something like
this...
"Back in my day (we've
all heard this before) we didn't have Facebook or texting. If you wanted
to go on a date, you better pray that person would just show up at that time
you told them to meet you! These days, everything is on the internet. How can
you really know someone if you never see them in person? Oh how times have
changed with dating." - said no one over the age of 35 ever
Yes, it seems as if
everything is online these days! Yes, things have changed dramatically from
what I have been told in the dating world! Yes, I am a 24 year old
"Millennial" who is currently living through this hot topic of modern
dating and swiping her screen more left than right. Who knew that your twenties
could be so fun but yet sometimes so hard?
You could say that I am
a pretty private person when it comes to the topic of dating. While I do
indulge periodically in Facebook scrolls and Snapchat snippets, checking in at
the local coffee shop with my sometimes awkward Bumble (dating app) prospect is
not the norm in my book. Why does the world need to know what "Catch"
reeled into ocean? I had to say that... haha!!
So where does that leave
this post?
Okay Lauren... you're a
private person who doesn't declare her relationship status on social media and
you have the occasional thumb cramp while sitting on your couch on a Monday night
as you watch the Bachelorette. Now what?
Well, that's exactly it. NOW
WHAT?! I'll tell you now what after you read this little story...
and yes… unfortunately it is true.
Once upon a time
(Thursday) a girl who had just spent oh I don't the last three months invested
in a man boy, got stood up. Now, I'm telling you all
this because again... dating "these days" is different... remember?
Okay good, I may continue. Now being "stood up" is not a new
phenomenon. It is something that has been going on for years! Now whether it is
the man doing the deed or the woman just not that interested, no call no shows
are a part of history. Here's the 21st century twist on this girls story. It's
Thursday night, dinner is in the oven and girl is on the phone with her Mom as
she is getting tips on how to make her award winning Spanish rice recipe.
Trying to impress her man right? Fresh bottle of $8.99 Woodbridge Robert
Mondavi Cabernet Sauvignon, an unfinished 500 piece jigsaw puzzle sprawled all
across the dining room table... sounds like a great night at home in my her
book. So she thought. Now let’s get right to the "modern aspect" of
this story... texting!
8:30pm Girl:
"Hey! Let me know when you're on your way."
Read 8:45pm
8:55pm Girl:
"Hello?"
Read 9:17pm
Girl thinks to self: “Maybe he is just having another really long day at work again.” (being
hopeful as usual) “Guess I’ll just get started on this puzzle and have a glass
of wine.”
9:30pm Girl thinks to self again: “Hmmmm… something is not right. More wine
please!”
9:55pm Girl:
“So I’m taking it that you are not coming for dinner.”
10:45pm Girl: A text message that will not be published for many reasons. Get
creative with it… I’m sure you are on the right track.
And that was it. Girl
sat at her dining room table till nearly 11 o’clock at night with a completed
puzzle on Latin American cars, three glasses in with her discounted wine, and a
gut feeling that dug so deep that sleep seemed to be the only cure.
Tossing and turning all
night in disbelief and checking her phone every couple of hours with the hope
that his phone was dropped in the toilet and a huge apology was awaiting on the
other side of the screen was not the reality.
Girl wakes up the next
morning and thinks to self, “Maybe he got into a car crash” “Holy moly maybe he
died” “It just isn’t like him to do this” “Let me check KSAT (local news),
maybe he is on there” (again…). “Nope… no new body recoveries”
Now what do girls ALWAYS
do in time of crisis? Ughh… call their best friend, duh!!
Girl: “______, (crying) what happened?!
I’m worried about him. It just isn’t like him to not say anything and the last
time he read my text was at 9:17pm.”
Best friend:
“Let’s call his work to see is he is there. If he is, he is alive. If he’s
alive, you can officially hate the guy and move on.”
Deal.
Phone rings:
“Hi is ______ _______ there?”
Phone guy:
“Yes, he’s upstairs. Let me transfer you.”
Best friend:
Hangs up the phone. “Well, there you go.”
Boom. There is was. The
gut feeling girl had the night before sitting at her dining room table was officially
confirmed. This man boy that
she had thought so different of in the months before just turned into the devil
himself.
And so with the trend of
this “modern day dating world” what do you do when things don’t work out? Very
good… you block them on every
social media outlet you are connected with them on!
Well that’s exactly what
I did she did. First
Instagram, then Snapchat, and of course... Facebook.
(Saving the best for
last)…
Ohhh myyyy goodnessss.
How Facebook can solve more mysteries than Sherlock himself. On her way to
block this fellow one last time, there it was.
Yepp, this is a new one.
The guy who she thought was lying in a ditch actually was changing his profile picture
from the night before (Thursday around 9:45pm when girl had a cold dinner on
the stove), with himself and his BFF at a pizza place inviting the world to
join. Yes, I am being DEAD serious.
Facebook:
“Would you like to block this person?”
Girl: #yesplease.
Sure I have had those cliché
thoughts run through my head like “What did I do” “Why wasn’t I good enough” “If
Jennifer Aniston can get over Brad Pitt, I can surely do the same with that
@$$%*!#” “Do I really know what I want” “Am I looking in the right direction” “Should
I even be looking”…???????????????
So back to where we left
off before pizza eating D-Bag. I was
left wondering “Now What”.
I cannot change the fact
that sometimes the men that come into my life are only meant to leave just as
fast. I cannot change the reality of today’s dating scene and the absolute nightmare
of throwing yourself out there, only to hope that the person just as interested
isn’t a catfish behind the screen. Mostly, I cannot change the fact that I am a
part of this millennial generation and sometimes this idea of “Commitment” seems
like it is nearly nonexistent between two people. Reality… sometimes he really
is just not that into you.
So yes, I am 24 years
old and recovering again from a broken heart. And yes, sometimes I see that
space beside me on my couch while I’m binging on episodes of Grey's Anatomy and
wish he was there lying next to me as he once did. Yes, I think about how we
would dance in my kitchen for hours while my dog looked at us like we were
crazy. And then for a moment, I let myself miss him. I’m human. I’m a girl. But
you see, in that same instant I also realize he chose not to be there and
therefor I am okay with his absence. I am me without anyone else and so that is
where I am now.
That flaky guy with a charming
smile who I thought I was falling for shouldn’t be the affirmation I need to
feel worthy of love. Yes, I have spent my Saturday afternoon blogging about something
now in my past. Yes, I will gladly continue to eat my mama’s leftover Spanish rice
from the other night until it is gone and not feel guilty one bit. Yes, I will
always have that small place in my heart for him but NO will he ever have the chance to see more.
