The Chronicles of a Millennial in a Modern Dating World

I will just start off by saying that this is not my usual post. Yes I am a teacher and my intention of this blog is geared towards education but hey... I have other titles as well right? 

As many of you know, dating STINKS! All I ever hear people talk about (people who are older and wiser than me of course) is how "Dating these days is not how it used to be"! The common conversation goes a little something like this... 

"Back in my day (we've all heard this before) we didn't have Facebook or texting. If you wanted to go on a date, you better pray that person would just show up at that time you told them to meet you! These days, everything is on the internet. How can you really know someone if you never see them in person? Oh how times have changed with dating." - said no one over the age of 35 ever

Yes, it seems as if everything is online these days! Yes, things have changed dramatically from what I have been told in the dating world! Yes, I am a 24 year old "Millennial" who is currently living through this hot topic of modern dating and swiping her screen more left than right. Who knew that your twenties could be so fun but yet sometimes so hard? 

You could say that I am a pretty private person when it comes to the topic of dating. While I do indulge periodically in Facebook scrolls and Snapchat snippets, checking in at the local coffee shop with my sometimes awkward Bumble (dating app) prospect is not the norm in my book. Why does the world need to know what "Catch" reeled into ocean? I had to say that... haha!! 

So where does that leave this post?

Okay Lauren... you're a private person who doesn't declare her relationship status on social media and you have the occasional thumb cramp while sitting on your couch on a Monday night as you watch the Bachelorette. Now what? 

Well, that's exactly it. NOW WHAT?! I'll tell you now what after you read this little story... and yes… unfortunately it is true.

Once upon a time (Thursday) a girl who had just spent oh I don't the last three months invested in a man boy, got stood up. Now, I'm telling you all this because again... dating "these days" is different... remember? Okay good, I may continue. Now being "stood up" is not a new phenomenon. It is something that has been going on for years! Now whether it is the man doing the deed or the woman just not that interested, no call no shows are a part of history. Here's the 21st century twist on this girls story. It's Thursday night, dinner is in the oven and girl is on the phone with her Mom as she is getting tips on how to make her award winning Spanish rice recipe. Trying to impress her man right? Fresh bottle of $8.99 Woodbridge Robert Mondavi Cabernet Sauvignon, an unfinished 500 piece jigsaw puzzle sprawled all across the dining room table... sounds like a great night at home in my her book. So she thought. Now let’s get right to the "modern aspect" of this story... texting! 

8:30pm Girl: "Hey! Let me know when you're on your way."

                                                                            Read 8:45pm

                                                

8:55pm Girl: "Hello?"

                                                                            Read 9:17pm

Girl thinks to self: “Maybe he is just having another really long day at work again.” (being hopeful as usual) “Guess I’ll just get started on this puzzle and have a glass of wine.”

9:30pm Girl thinks to self again: “Hmmmm… something is not right. More wine please!”

9:55pm Girl: “So I’m taking it that you are not coming for dinner.”

10:45pm Girl: A text message that will not be published for many reasons. Get creative with it… I’m sure you are on the right track.

And that was it. Girl sat at her dining room table till nearly 11 o’clock at night with a completed puzzle on Latin American cars, three glasses in with her discounted wine, and a gut feeling that dug so deep that sleep seemed to be the only cure.

Tossing and turning all night in disbelief and checking her phone every couple of hours with the hope that his phone was dropped in the toilet and a huge apology was awaiting on the other side of the screen was not the reality.

Girl wakes up the next morning and thinks to self, “Maybe he got into a car crash” “Holy moly maybe he died” “It just isn’t like him to do this” “Let me check KSAT (local news), maybe he is on there” (again…). “Nope… no new body recoveries”

Now what do girls ALWAYS do in time of crisis? Ughh… call their best friend, duh!!

Girl: “______, (crying) what happened?! I’m worried about him. It just isn’t like him to not say anything and the last time he read my text was at 9:17pm.”

Best friend: “Let’s call his work to see is he is there. If he is, he is alive. If he’s alive, you can officially hate the guy and move on.”

Deal.

Phone rings: “Hi is ______ _______ there?”

Phone guy: “Yes, he’s upstairs. Let me transfer you.”

Best friend: Hangs up the phone. “Well, there you go.”

Boom. There is was. The gut feeling girl had the night before sitting at her dining room table was officially confirmed. This man boy that she had thought so different of in the months before just turned into the devil himself.

And so with the trend of this “modern day dating world” what do you do when things don’t work out? Very good… you block them on every social media outlet you are connected with them on!  

Well that’s exactly what I did she did. First Instagram, then Snapchat, and of course... Facebook.

(Saving the best for last)…

Ohhh myyyy goodnessss. How Facebook can solve more mysteries than Sherlock himself. On her way to block this fellow one last time, there it was.

Yepp, this is a new one. The guy who she thought was lying in a ditch actually was changing his profile picture from the night before (Thursday around 9:45pm when girl had a cold dinner on the stove), with himself and his BFF at a pizza place inviting the world to join. Yes, I am being DEAD serious.

Facebook: “Would you like to block this person?”

Girl: #yesplease.

  

Sure I have had those cliché thoughts run through my head like “What did I do” “Why wasn’t I good enough” “If Jennifer Aniston can get over Brad Pitt, I can surely do the same with that @$$%*!#” “Do I really know what I want” “Am I looking in the right direction” “Should I even be looking”…???????????????

So back to where we left off  before pizza eating D-Bag. I was left wondering “Now What”.

I cannot change the fact that sometimes the men that come into my life are only meant to leave just as fast. I cannot change the reality of today’s dating scene and the absolute nightmare of throwing yourself out there, only to hope that the person just as interested isn’t a catfish behind the screen. Mostly, I cannot change the fact that I am a part of this millennial generation and sometimes this idea of “Commitment” seems like it is nearly nonexistent between two people. Reality… sometimes he really is just not that into you.

So yes, I am 24 years old and recovering again from a broken heart. And yes, sometimes I see that space beside me on my couch while I’m binging on episodes of Grey's Anatomy and wish he was there lying next to me as he once did. Yes, I think about how we would dance in my kitchen for hours while my dog looked at us like we were crazy. And then for a moment, I let myself miss him. I’m human. I’m a girl. But you see, in that same instant I also realize he chose not to be there and therefor I am okay with his absence. I am me without anyone else and so that is where I am now.  

That flaky guy with a charming smile who I thought I was falling for shouldn’t be the affirmation I need to feel worthy of love. Yes, I have spent my Saturday afternoon blogging about something now in my past. Yes, I will gladly continue to eat my mama’s leftover Spanish rice from the other night until it is gone and not feel guilty one bit. Yes, I will always have that small place in my heart for him but NO will he ever have the chance to see more.   

People will come and go in my life, but I am still here. This is my story and my own hard earned accomplishments and talents that will define my inner happiness. I will still be that girl who throws down a jigsaw puzzle and drinks red wine from a mason jar. I am still going to be that girl that squints when she smiles and may also keep up with the social trends in today’s dating world. I will still be that devoted teacher who is always trying to challenge not only her students but herself. I will still be me, regardless of who is by my side. #Amen.